... is a relationship coach and sexuality educator. She holds a Ph.D. in family development and specializes in intimacy, sexuality and intimate partner violence recovery. In addition to speaking and writing about sexual health and well-being, she teaches graduate student-therapists. Dr. Ruthie is published and presents internationally on her work and research.
Gary of India shares his experiences with tantric sex and BDSM
I’m happy to introduce you to our newest kink interviewee, Gary. I believe Gary is our first interviewee from India and he has shared some great stories about his love of various kinks, combined with tantric sex, as well as the socio-sexual climate in his country. Gary is also looking for hot new erotica for his online businesses, so all you writers might want to drop him a line to learn more!
If you’re interested in what is rocking my world in the land of sex nerdery, you should look me up on Twitter and the Facebook Fan Page. I post original sex tips and lots of sex news links, as well as tidbits about life as a professional sexpert.
You’ve likely seen the bloody, macho promos with smooth graphics for Dragon Age: Origins on TV, and heard the saucy tag line of “Not Every Hero is Pure.” But, just what is this popular new video game doing that you probably won’t see on the television commercials? Dragon Age: Origins is seducing audiences in a fresher, sexier way than its competition by including luscious, highly suggestive imagery of gay and lesbian elven sex scenes.
While past popular video games have included sexual violence in order to gain popularity, maker Bioware is going in a different direction. Both the female on female and the male on male elf sex scenes contain a romantic collection of brief clips, with opportunities for limited conversation about the interludes. Far be it from me to search for deep meaning in video games, but the progressive eye candy does strike me as a creative way to normalize nonviolent queer sex for gamers of every generation.
Watch video clips of the gay and lesbian sex scenes from Dragon Age: Origins here and here.
You can now get even more of Exploring Intimacy and Dr.Ruthie (that’s me!) by becoming a fan on facebook, and adding us to Twitter @DrRuthie !
We’ll be doing some special contests on both, and there are also discussion boards over on Facebook.
As for Twitter, it’s the best way to keep track of what’s going on with Dr.Ruthie and get a peep into the life of a professional sexpert. I also enjoy tweeting sex and relationship tips, and you know you don’t want to miss that.
Midori is a true goddess of sensuality and kink. You’ve read her books, seen her amazing bondage and fetish fashion photos – so come join me in at her workshops this week in Washington, DC through WholeDC! And this isn’t a giant group event – this is a chance to interact with Midori personally while learning to seduce your lovers with your voice, or with sexy silk scarf bondage. You better believe that I’ll be there both nights – drop me a line so I can say hello to you, too!
Whole DC is thrilled to present Midori! Come to her compelling Aural Sex workshop at the new Dulce Cafe and Lounge on Capital Hill (Eastern Market or Potomac Ave Metro).
The brain is the biggest sex organ and the voice can be the most powerful tool to create the hottest scenes. Midori will show you how to use the hypnotic magic of the voice to seduce your lover long before you enter the bedroom or the playspace.
Want to bring sizzling, sexy, fun, and easy erotic bondage to your bedroom? Don’t want to bother with expensive gear or complicated ropes? Let’s combine sex with super easy bondage with stealthy scarves!
Good Vibes - Fantastic Sex Shopping in San Francisco
Good Vibes is the first adult store from which I ever made an online purchase – way back during my time in New York. It changed my life, because the atmosphere of their website encouraged me to learn about what I was buying, as well as myself, without shame.
When I finally found myself in San Francisco I knew I must make the pilgrimage in person and I was not disappointed. What a fantastic store! I know good vibes was recently acquired by a larger company, but rest assured that the independent, feminist, service-oriented spirit is very much alive.
I walked into this store and was immediately greeted by their inspiring and entertaining selection of antique vibrators. As a proud owner of an early 1900s vibe myself, I was thrilled to see her sisters on display here. As one might expect, this excellent store sells a variety of toys for all genders and sexualities, as well as some uniquely tasty BDSM gear and plenty of books, condoms and lubes. Toys are usually on display, so you can check them out, and the lay out of the store is comfortable and easy to navigate.
Let me take a moment to compliment the staff, who are all far more trained and approachable than those are your typical (smuttier) store. As a professional sex educator, my questions tend to be picky and unusual. I was thrilled that staff were able to advise me on their items without hesitation, in spite of my detail-oriented needs. I left feeling well educated about the products that I was interested in, and confident that I could call later, if needed.
I should also mention that they have an art gallery space in the back are easily accessible by bus.
Whipped: 20 Erotic Stories of Female Dominance, edited by Carol Queen
Whipped, edited by Carol Queen, has renewed my faith in FemDom of erotic fiction! This book features a series of short and steamy stories in which women seduce and dominate a range of partners, for personal and perhaps even financial pleasure.
After my late teens I slowly stopped reading erotic fiction, mostly because it tends to stop being erotic after a while. I’m particularly hesitant to pick up books featuring sexually dominant women, as they tend to surprise me with a twist ending in which she decides she really prefers to submit to a rude and power-hungry male lover. Exit To Eden, I’m looking at you when I say that.
Whipped, however, brings the genre back where it belongs with a firm spank to lesser offerings. Each story is delightfully different from the others, representing diverse genders and sexualities, so some will raise your temperature while others just raise your eyebrows. Either way, I was kept wide awake on my flight back from San Francisco, which is one of the few times it is appropriate to read a book like this in a cramped public space. After all, the woman squished in next to me was reading a guide to one night stands and the fellow across the aisle was discussing his attempts to sew his own g-string. I fit right in prepping for this book review!
This book is also advertised with a DVD of the documentary “Whipped”. This video shows the lives of several professional and private female dominants as they work with whips and maintain their relationships. It’s a very interesting video, and would particularly well suited for those who are curious about what it is to be a professional dominatrix. Sad to say, I did not feel hopeful for any of the main characters or their relationships at the end of the video. While I would prefer to see some more successful experiences of lifestyle domination, perhaps this is a realistic depiction of the difficulties of confronting our society’s preference for women who are submissive in all areas of life.
Material: hard plastic, with antibacterial silver ions in the plastic
Cost: $99.95
SMT rating: 1 – 3 (depending on settings), with accompanying heat
The Femblossom comes from Emotional Bliss, a wonderful company with a unique approach to designing toys that stand apart. They produce especially great products for women just learning to explore their own bodies with toys or who have not been satisfied with other products on the market. The FemBlossom is no exception, and proves to be a fantastic outty vibe!
My Femblossom was sent to me for review and arrived well packaged, including an AC adapter, two small bottles of lubricant (water and silicone based), and a wonderful instruction manual. The manual goes over the functions of the toy, including all 9 settings at 3 different levels of power annnnd it also heats! I should mention that it is made with a silver ion technology in the plastic that gives it anti-bacterial properties when wiped down with water.
The Femblossom is designed as an outty toy, for use on the vulva including the clitoris, but not for insertion. As you can see from the video, it’s curved to match the body and lay at the outside of the vulva, or directly stimulate the clit by pressing the curved section against the vulva or using the tip of the vibe. It has subtle texture, not enough to overwhelm but enough to notice. As you turn up the vibrations, you also turn up the heat. The power button is located within easy finger’s reach, and you can scroll through the 9 settings using the + and – buttons. It gets very powerful and very warm, but can also have a mild thrum with lower heat for those who prefer a softer touch, or who like to warm up gently.
Like its inny-outty sister, the Womolia, this is an excellent premium toy with dynamic uses. Most toys with a powerful motor are good for getting off but not warming up, this one has a range that goes from sweetly seductive to very intense. The heat function can be both relaxing and stimulating, and proves to be highly enjoyable.
For those who prefer an outty-only vibrator that does not look anything like a phallus, this is a phenominal choice! It’s easy to use with partners, and to accompany penetration, solo or partnered. The buttons are easy to press and do not require a great deal of finger strength or dexterity and the toy is light and easy to hold. The battery even holds a charge for a long time! Like the Womolia, I can’t find anything wrong with this toy, and am very happy to give it my whole hearted recommendation as a fantastic toy for beginners and experienced toy lovers!
The folks at Hand Made Sex Toys have come up with a great guide for those of us with a few too many toys on our hands. Check out their illustrated tips for using your dildos, butt plugs, and other wankables as household helpers!
Pleasurists is a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #35? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #37? Submit it here before Sunday July 12th at 11:59pm PDT. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.
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