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100 Nights of Sex? Make that 365!

June 13, 2008

New York Time’s photo of Doug & Annie Brown, who enjoyed sex with each other every day for 100 days. They look happy to me! I think I’ll pick up their book: Just Do It. Great title…

The New York Times has recently reported on two couples, each with a book out, that opted to spice up their sex life by having sex every night… one couple for 100 days, the other for 365! Interviews with both couples noted that their experiments has raised their frequency of sex on a long term basis, and also resulted in a greater sense of intimacy and bonding. They also noted that it improved creativity and even the quality of their love making. Way to go!

Sex experts interviewed by The New York Times were quick to note that a lack of frequency, or getting out of the habit of having sex, is far from the only reason couples cease to get it on. One went so far as to imply that they must have had other underlying issues that went unaddressed in their bid to heat things up. With years of therapy training and more than a bit of clinical practice behind me, I’m left wondering why intimate, loving and frequent sex can’t be used to treat some concerns, or be a general route to relational and individual improvement? Afterall, for many approaches to therapy, the goal is to get people to a place where they’re doing well enough to solve their other concerns on their own. Perhaps they had no other underlying issues, and perhaps they did. If something deeper was lurking, I trust their ability to judge whether or not frequent and (usually) enjoyable sex helped them to work through it! There is no magic recipe for healing couples or sex lives. Considering issues of power, balance, stress, finances, communication, awareness, and skill (plus lots of other things) should all be a part of working on raising one’s sexual pleasure and frequency. However, that morning-after glow can go a long way toward making the day look brighter, so why not make use of it by finding ways and reasons to benefit from a vigorous sex life when both of you want it? If it works for both of you, just do it!

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